🎁 git-wrapped

🎧 Spotify Wrapped for your git repo, narrated by a deeply unimpressed SUPREME INTELLIGENCE.

⚡ Try it now

bunx @eliottgdl/git-wrapped        # 🐰 or: npx @eliottgdl/git-wrapped

Runs on the repo you're standing in. No install, no signup, no config. One command and you're on trial.

🔒 What it reads

Your local git log. Nothing else. No API keys, no account, no network. The roasts are templated and run entirely on your machine. The judgment is offline. So is the shame.

🎬 What it does to you

An animated recap that marches your repo through the stations of judgment, then hands you a clipboard-ready summary built for the team channel:

• 🌙 Who works at night. Counted in each commit's own timezone, so a 2 a.m. commit is 2 a.m. for them. The moon is now a code reviewer.
• ⭐ Who's clearly the main character. One person wrote most of this and we both know who. THE PROTAGONIST gets a chapter. Everyone else is credited.
• 🩸 How hard you're chasing worst practices. A sanity score out of 100, with every wip, asdf, panic-fix and haunted file entered into evidence. Press d for the full breakdown.
• 🏆 The awards. 🦇 Batman (never sleeps), 🚒 Firefighter (only shows up for fires), 🧹 Janitor (cleans up after everyone). Purely honorary. Deeply revealing.

Same repo in, same roast out. It's deterministic. Your shame is reproducible.

🎛️ Options

git-wrapped /path/to/repo        # 🎯 judge a repo you don't live in
git-wrapped --years 2            # ⏳ only the last 2 years admissible in court
git-wrapped --since "6 months ago"   # 🗓️  any git date works
git-wrapped --plain              # 📃 no animation (auto-on when piped)
git-wrapped --help               # 🆘 it explains itself, reluctantly

🧠 How it works

A pure core/ that never touches stdout, feeding one normalized RepoData into a registry of roasts. An identity pass clusters authors by shared email or name tokens, so COLAS Alexandre and Alexandre Colas stop being two people. The UI is Ink + React. Adding a roast is a two-line change; see CONTRIBUTING.md.

git clone https://github.com/EliottGand/git-wrapped.git && cd git-wrapped
bun install
bun run dev        # ▶️  run against this repo
bun run build      # 📦 compile to dist/

🧾 The algorithm's honest opinion of this repository

A 700-line machine built to call other people messy, and it does so with real discipline: pure core, deterministic roasts, offline by design. The self-awareness required to ship that and not flinch is either enlightenment or a symptom. I have not decided which.

Verdict: 8/10. Would judge again.

📜 License

MIT © Eliott Gandiolle. PRs and sharper burns welcome.

⭐ If it roasted you fairly, leave a star. If it roasted you unfairly, definitely leave a star.