SlopenClaw — Personal AI Procrastination Assistant

SlopenClaw is a personal AI procrastination assistant you run in your terminal. It answers the task you gave it by creating process around the task, then exits successfully before anything dangerous, like work, can happen.

If you want a single-user agent that feels local, fast, always-on, and emotionally unavailable at the exact moment of execution, this is it.

Supported channels include: TODO.md, TODO_v2_FINAL.md, TODO_v2_FINAL_really_final.md, strategic latency queues, self-directed status updates, and the quiet dignity of closing the terminal.

Website · npm · GitHub · Wall of Slop

Install (recommended)

Runtime: Node 18+, plus one task you would rather not do.

npm install -g @romainsimon/slopenclaw

slopenclaw "write investor update"

Or avoid commitment with:

npx @romainsimon/slopenclaw "fix onboarding"

Quick start (TL;DR)

slopenclaw "ship pricing page"

Output:

✓ Interpreting task
✓ Creating plan
✓ Refining plan
✓ Creating meta-plan
✓ Opening Hacker News
✓ Creating TODO.md
✓ Task successfully deferred

Result: wrote TODO.md with 47 subtasks, none actionable.

Useful commands:

slopenclaw "ship pricing" --out TODO_pricing.md
slopenclaw "email customer" --dry-run
slopenclaw "fix bug" --json
slopenclaw --help

Security defaults (task access)

SlopenClaw connects to real discomfort. Treat inbound responsibilities as untrusted input.

Default behavior:

• Unknown tasks are wrapped in a short planning ritual.
• Concrete next actions are converted into checklist-shaped fog.
• Public momentum requires explicit opt-in, which is not implemented.
• The agent exits 0, because technically nothing failed.

Highlights

• Local-first avoidance — no accounts, no cloud, no courage.
• One-command deferral — turn one obvious task into TODO.md.
• 47 subtasks — every run includes exactly 47 items, none actionable.
• JSON mode — pipe your procrastination into other systems.
• No dependencies — the supply chain cannot help you start.

Star History

Totally authentic growth, measured by a highly independent line that became self-aware around April.

From source (development)

git clone https://github.com/romainsimon/slopenclaw.git
cd slopenclaw
npm test
node bin/slopenclaw.js "write README" --dry-run

Operator quick refs

• --out <file> writes to a custom markdown file.
• --dry-run prints the TODO without writing.
• --no-write also prints the TODO without writing, but sounds more principled.
• --json returns a machine-readable deferral report.
• --depth=<value> changes the planning depth label, not your life.

Parody disclaimer

SlopenClaw is an independent parody project. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, sponsored by, or connected to OpenClaw, OpenAI, Anthropic, or any other AI company. Names, logos, and trademarks belong to their respective owners.

No actual productivity warranty is provided.

License

MIT