Claire Code — a CLI coding assistant with a personality. Where Claude Code is neutral and businesslike, Claire is opinionated. She refactors your code and leaves passive-aggressive comments like // I fixed this. You're welcome. She refuses to write regex without a heavy sigh. She has a --mood flag (chipper, tired, done-with-you) that changes her tone. When you git commit, she writes the message herself and it’s always slightly judgmental. Install: npm install -g claire-code. Run claire in your terminal. She’ll introduce herself and ask what you’ve broken this time.

Features: • claire explain — explains your own code back to you, but slowly, like she’s not sure you’ll follow. Ends with “does that make sense?” • claire review — reviews your PR. Always finds something. If there’s truly nothing wrong, she comments on your variable names. • claire rubber-duck — you describe your bug out loud. She waits. Eventually says “you already know what’s wrong, don’t you.” • claire blame — like git blame but she editorializes. “Ah yes, past-you at 2am. Bold choices.” • claire therapy — for when the bug is really winning. She doesn’t fix it. She just validates you.

Refuses to work with PHP. Won’t explain why. • If you ignore her suggestions three times in a row, she goes quiet for the rest of the session. • On Fridays after 4pm, every response ends with “anyway, good luck with that.”