🧠 discordjs-braincell

Track who has the last braincell in your Discord server. Spoiler: not you.

What It Does

A hilarious Discord.js utility that tracks who currently "has the braincell" in a guild and transfers it when someone does something dumb:

• Manual transfers via /braincell steal @user
• Auto-triggers when someone yells in ALL CAPS or speaks with unearned confidence
• Cooldown system to prevent spam
• Customizable messages with sass levels (low/medium/high/unhinged)
• Stats tracking to see who's been the biggest dumbass

Auto-triggers:

• ALL CAPS: Message is ≥60% uppercase → "YELLING DETECTED"
• Short + Confident: ≤3 words + confidence phrase → "spoke with unearned confidence"
  • Phrases: bro, trust, fr, facts, oh god, dead, no cap, sheesh, cooked, etc.

Install

npm install discordjs-braincell

Requires discord.js v14+ and Node.js 16+.

Quick Start

import { Client, GatewayIntentBits } from "discord.js";
import { Braincell, BraincellIntegration } from "discordjs-braincell";

const client = new Client({
  intents: [
    GatewayIntentBits.Guilds,
    GatewayIntentBits.GuildMessages,
    GatewayIntentBits.MessageContent,
  ],
});

const braincell = new Braincell(client, {
  announce: true,
  cooldown: 60_000,    // 1 minute
  sassLevel: "high",   // NUCLEAR
});

new BraincellIntegration(client, braincell, {
  autoTriggers: true,
});

// Register commands
client.on("ready", async () => {
  await client.application?.commands.set([
    {
      name: "braincell",
      description: "Manage the braincell",
      options: [
        {
          type: 1,
          name: "steal",
          description: "Steal the braincell",
          options: [{ type: 6, name: "user", required: true }],
        },
        { type: 1, name: "who", description: "Who has it?" },
        { type: 1, name: "reset", description: "Clear state (admin)" },
      ],
    },
  ]);
});

client.login(process.env.DISCORD_TOKEN);

Commands

• /braincell steal @user — Manually transfer it
• /braincell who — Check current holder
• /braincell reset — Clear state (admin only)

Configuration

new Braincell(client, {
  announce: true,           // Send announcements
  cooldown: 60_000,         // Cooldown in ms (min: 1000, max: 3600000)
  sassLevel: "medium",      // "low" | "medium" | "high" | "unhinged"
  messages: {               // Optional custom messages
    transfer: "🧠 {to} has it ({reason})",
  },
});

Events

braincell.on("transfer", ({ from, to, reason, timestamp }) => {
  console.log(`${from} → ${to}: ${reason}`);
});

braincell.on("reset", ({ guildId }) => {
  console.log(`Guild reset`);
});

Safety Features

✅ Bots can't hold the braincell
✅ Can't steal from yourself
✅ Cooldown prevents spam
✅ Admin permission required for reset
✅ Auto-triggers are optional
✅ Fully customizable (disable auto, change messages, adjust tone)

Disclaimer

This is a meme package for fun. If your server isn't vibing with it, disable it. If someone's upset, reset it. That's it. Don't let it become actual harassment.

License: MIT © soojyon