npx git-sorry

What just happened

You ran one command and it went looking for trouble. It scans the source files your recent commits touched, scores every line for how embarrassing it is, picks the winner, and reads out the charge sheet: who wrote it, when, at what hour of the night, and the commit message they had the nerve to attach.

If the line turns out to be yours, you get an apology to deliver. If it belongs to a teammate, you get a roast. Either way nothing leaves your machine unless you ask it to.

The one on the right is Snitchy. Snitchy reads git blame so it can tell everyone. Ten percent remorse, ninety percent main character.

Make it worse

| Command | What happens | | :--- | :--- | | git-sorry | Finds your worst recent line and passes judgement | | git-sorry src/auth.ts | Finds the worst line in that file | | git-sorry src/auth.ts 42 | Judges exactly that line | | git-sorry wall | Ranks everyone in the repository by smelly lines owned | | --ai | Hands the evidence to Gemini and gets a verdict written fresh | | --roast / --apology | Overrules the tool on which one you deserve | | --share / --copy | A ready-made post, or straight to your clipboard | | --send | Also posts it to your team's Slack or Discord |

git-sorry wall is the one that ends friendships:

  🏆 HALL OF SHAME  ·  20 files swept

  🥇 Marcus Chen             31 smelly lines
       src/auth.ts — return user ? user.admin ? true : user.mod ? true : false…
  🥈 Priya Raman             12 smelly lines
       src/api/sync.ts — } catch (e) {}
  🥉 you                      9 smelly lines
       src/utils.ts — // TODO: this is temporary

Add your own verdict

This is the part where you come in, and it does not involve cloning anything.

Edit lines.json in your browser → Add a string to roast or apology, commit it as a pull request, done. That is the entire contribution process.

"roast": [
  "{{author}} had an entire programming language available and chose {{charge}}."
]

Anything in double braces is filled in from the real repository — {{author}}, {{charge}}, {{commitMsg}}, {{hour}}, {{weekday}}, {{age}}, {{branch}}, {{dirtyCount}} and a few more. A verdict is only ever used when every placeholder it names has a real value, so you can lean on them without writing fallbacks. The full list is in CONTRIBUTING.md.

If you would rather not touch a file at all, open an issue with your joke in it and somebody else will land it.

Let Gemini write it

The built-in verdicts are instant and work anywhere. When you want one composed on the spot for that exact line, add --ai:

npx git-sorry config --set-key <GEMINI_API_KEY>
npx git-sorry --ai

Keys are free from Google AI Studio and live in ~/.git-sorry/config.json, owner-readable only. Gemini gets the line, the author, the date and the commit message, which turns out to be all the ammunition anyone needs.

Send it to the team

npx git-sorry config --set-webhook <SLACK_OR_DISCORD_WEBHOOK_URL>
npx git-sorry --send

Nothing is broadcast unless --send is on the command line. Slack reads the text field and Discord reads content, so a single request covers both.

Install it properly

npm install -g git-sorry

Node 18 or newer, and a git repository with some history to answer for.

The numbers

Team stress, measured before and after adopting git-sorry. Sample size: one team that talks too much. Methodology: vibes. Findings: conclusive.

Same bug, same culprit, very different afternoon. Stress falls off a cliff the moment the roast hits the channel, because nobody can stay angry at a line of code while the whole team is rating an apology out of ten.

Reviews from developers who do not exist

"I got roasted in #general and honestly, fair." — a backend developer, still employed

"The apology it wrote was more sincere than the one I was drafting." — somebody's tech lead

"10/10, would get snitched on again." — the intern

How it works

It reads the files your recent commits touched, scores each line against a table of known offences — nested ternaries, empty catch blocks, eval, a TODO that has outlived its author's optimism — and puts the highest scorer on trial. git blame supplies the name and date, git show supplies the commit message and the hour, and either the built-in list or Gemini supplies the verdict.

Everything is local and read-only. The only outbound request is the one you ask for with --ai or --send.

src/
  index.ts     the CLI, the evidence box and the verdicts
  git.ts       blame, context, and deciding which line deserves it
  local.ts     picks a built-in verdict and fills it in
  gemini.ts    builds the prompt and calls Gemini
  webhook.ts   posts to Slack or Discord
  config.ts    local key and webhook storage
lines.json     every built-in verdict, one string each

Hack on it

git clone https://github.com/zuhairadnansutrisno2502-lab/git-sorry.git
cd git-sorry
npm install && npm run build
npm link          # `git-sorry` now runs your local build
npm test

npm unlink -g git-sorry puts things back the way they were.

Pull requests are welcome, and the ones that add jokes get merged fastest. If the verdict made you laugh, a ⭐ keeps Snitchy fed.

License

Released under the MIT License. See LICENSE.