random-auth-package

Ironic auth simulator inspired by the classic "install random auth package" joke.

Why this exists

• For demos, memes, talks, and mock UIs.
• To produce deterministic fake auth decisions using a seed.
• To remind everyone: never use this in production.
• To have fun while still shipping a couple of useful dev helpers.

Install

npm i random-auth-package

Install shows a transparent banner with creator handle @ketawave and demo commands. Set RAP_SILENT=1 to suppress the banner.

API

const {
  randomAuth,
  absurdAuth,
  generateStrongSecret,
  createDemoApiKey,
  buildPromoText,
  explain
} = require("random-auth-package");

const result = randomAuth({ userId: "kai", seed: 42, strict: true });
const absurd = absurdAuth({ userId: "boss", trustMeBro: true });
const secret = generateStrongSecret(40);
const demoKey = createDemoApiKey("staging", { seed: "team-seed" });
const promo = buildPromoText("@ketawave");

console.log(result);
console.log(absurd);
console.log(secret, demoKey);
console.log(promo);
console.log(explain(result));

randomAuth(options)

• userId (string, default guest)
• seed (string | number, optional)
• strict (boolean, default false)
• force (allow | deny, optional)
• now (number timestamp, optional)

absurdAuth(options)

Intentionally insecure theater mode for demos only.

• userId (string, default guest)
• seed (string | number, optional)
• password (string, optional)
• trustMeBro (boolean, optional)
• force (allow | deny, optional)
• now (number timestamp, optional)

CLI

npx random-auth-package --user kai --seed 42
npx random-auth-package --user kai --strict --json
npx random-auth-package --absurd --user boss --trust-me-bro
npx random-auth-package --gen-secret 48
npx random-auth-package --demo-key staging --seed team42
npx random-auth-package --promo @ketawave

Promo ideas for @ketawave

• Run npx random-auth-package --promo @ketawave, paste output as tweet/Telegram post.
• Record a 10-second clip with --absurd --trust-me-bro output and pin npm link.
• Ask users to share their funniest auth reason and tag @ketawave.

Safety

• No external network calls.
• No data storage.
• No real auth logic.

This package is intentionally theatrical.