use-epstein-files

This is not a serious tool. It's a joke package made for fun with friends. Do not use this in production, for real privacy compliance, legal redaction, or anything that actually matters.

Ever wanted to send your group chat a "leaked document" where everyone's names, phone numbers, and emails are dramatically redacted like a government FOIA release? That's this.

use-epstein-files lets you take any text and make it look like it was just declassified — complete with [REDACTED] boxes, blacked-out spans, fake email headers, and ominous paragraph purges. Pipe in your friends' names, watch the "files" get redacted, send it to the group chat. That's the whole point.

Usage

import { EpsteinFilesBuilder } from "use-epstein-files";

const output = new EpsteinFilesBuilder()
    .addNameProvider({ firstNames: ["Jeffrey"], lastNames: ["Epstein"] })
    .parse("Jeffrey Epstein called 555-123-4567 on 2020-01-01.")
    .withRedactedBoxMarking()
    .buildOutputAsText();

// "Jeffrey Epstein called [REDACTED] on [REDACTED]."

Or go full drama with HTML output, black marker highlights, fake government email headers, and randomised paragraph purges.

What it does

• Detects names, phone numbers, emails, SSNs, dates, addresses, and URLs
• Lets you add specific names/numbers you want caught (e.g. your friends)
• Multiple redaction styles: [REDACTED], █████, black marker CSS highlight
• Outputs plain text or a styled HTML document with per-PII colour highlights
• Fake email header formatting (From:, To:, Subject:, etc.)
• Probabilistic redaction — randomly purge entire paragraphs for maximum paranoia

Install

npm install use-epstein-files
# or
bun add use-epstein-files

Disclaimer

This does not provide real anonymisation, real privacy protection, or real anything. The PII detection is regex-based and will miss things. Do not rely on it for anything serious. It's a joke. Have fun.